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Turns Out There Was Actually Cannabis in Trump’s Greatest Chocolate Cake

Turns Out There Was Actually Cannabis in Trump's Greatest Chocolate Cake

Satire

Turns Out There Was Actually Cannabis in Trump’s Greatest Chocolate Cake

Greatest Chocolate Cake Helps Diplomacy

Recent discovery revealed President Trump’s greatest chocolate cake contained an ounce of cannabis. The White House Baker came forward and admitted he made the cake with cannabutter in place of regular butter. Later, he defended his decision to the press.

“It complements the Columbian cocoa flavors in a way butter or margarine fails to do,” said the baker. After much demand for the baker’s recipe, President Trump signed an executive order. The recipe is now locked away in a safe beneath three feet of concrete and titanium. Only the President of the United States has official access to the recipe.

Some constituents against the legalization of marijuana claimed the act of the Baker as treasonous. “The guy wants to push his liberal agenda on our President,” commented a man from South Carolina. “He should be put in jail.” However, with the decriminalization of marijuana in Washington, D.C., no criminal investigation ensued.

President Trump refused to let his greatest chocolate cake go. Therefore, the Baker remains employed. The Baker took on an apprentice at the order of President Trump. He said, “This chocolate cake will be a tradition passed down by the most prestigious baker in America.” Over twenty-five thousand applicants applied to this fifteen-year apprenticeship. Twenty were hand chosen and placed in a competition. President Trump himself along with cooking genius, Gordon Ramsey, judged the outcome, firing nineteen contesters. The winner of the apprenticeship begins his training this week.

Bomb Cake

Turns Out There Was Actually Cannabis in Trump's Greatest Chocolate Cake

 

In regards to President Trump’s slip up in his interview with Fox, social media exploded with understanding. Snoop Dogg tweeted, “We understand, my man. Syria and Iraq sound the same when you are flying high.” Whether or not he commanded the bombing before or after eating the chocolate cake remains under scrutiny.

China’s President Xi who shared the greatest chocolate cake with President Trump gave a statement about his US visit. “The American President and I have a deeper understanding after our visit.”

Later, when asked about the chocolate cake, he responded, “It was very good. I don’t remember what President Trump said to me. That’s how good it was.”

Turns out, President Trump’s claim that he ate the greatest chocolate cake ever was the first truth in his presidency thus far.

Chala Giron

Chala Giron is a poet and writer currently residing in England. She spends her free weekends traveling and writing. Her work has appeared in Tidal Echoes Literary Journal and on the Juneau Public buses.

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